2009 - By Malena Barron for Audio TNBW

Born in England in 1971, The Naked Blonde Writer – a societal drop-out of no fixed abode – began writing from the first moment she beheld the mighty pen. Living everywhere, settling nowhere, nudity began aged 17, as a model for any one with a camera. She dropped out of a French degree at UCL, transferred to literature at King’s College while singing and writing songs, but abandoned university and disappeared to Hollywood for 6 years, where she attended method acting school, lost her motivation and defected to the Welsh mountains to write her first book as an antidote to the dark side of the valleys. Shortly before being awarded a first-class honours degree in literature some 20 years after her first bout of academic institutionalisation, TNBW filmed a reading of Chapter 1 of the first published novel completely unclothed; she did it to demonstrate that rare combination of vulnerability and courage required to write a book, she was almost forty years old. Thus The Naked Blonde Writer earned her moniker . . .
These virtual pages are offered as testimony to the sensual nature of literature, reading aloud and the privilege of being female . . . Lest neofeministic leftist lunacy emasculate man and rape real woman, TNBW asserts unfettered sensuality via pen and page. Sexuality is an highly spiritual element of existence, never to be disrespected or denigrated, nor to be so suppressed that one becomes ashamed of it. The naked body is the physical realm of a gorgeously intriguing element of our nature . . . these nipples are, metaphorically speaking, the very tip of the iceberg . . . melting that iceberg requires patient, attentive, gentle awareness . . . if we dumb down or denigrate our desires, if we insinuate against sex without exception, if we attack flirtation or rage at attraction then the possibility for creative intercourse becomes finite . . . in these trigger-happy times, we risk rendering sensual and artistic possibility sterile. Human beings are becoming afraid to extend attraction towards each other for fear of being labelled ‘sexist’ of ‘perverted’ – this is fucking insane . . . the resultant downcast expression in the eyes of so many adults who are clearly longing to look at each other is a tragedy waiting to happen . . . the alternative arrogant explicit ugliness masquerading under the guise of “equality” in which women resemble football hooligans and men treat female genitalia with sledgehammer sensitivity is poised to punctuate this tragedy unless we fall in love fast . . . but first some excavation is required; beautiful sensuality has been forced underground . . . these pages are as much questions as they are suggestions and, indeed, there is seduction in the subtext . . . because seduction is delicious, because flirtation need not be suspicious and because a naked female body reading in a lovely voice is unadulterated delight for the performer . . . we must not force our loveliness underground . . . for anything forced into darkness shall inevitably emerge as an hideous deformity . . . we write naked in body and soul so that the walking dead shall not inherit the earth . . . The Naked Blonde Writer welcomes readers, voyeurs and eavesdroppers (and be aware that these terms are not necessarily negative; they are dependent on how one exercises them) . . . if you have come to read, watch or listen you are welcomed, but we will not falter if you are stupid enough to assume that this site is an invite to stalk TNBW in the flesh (such was the reason for putting The Naked Reading behind a password in 2010) . . . intelligent responses to sensual-sexual-literary-nakedness shall  inspire The Naked Blonde Writer; but fuck around and she shall not pull her punches . . . so, please, do not fake-pull your triggers . . . to be continued . . .

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