A Million Differences

A Million Differences


He is A Million Differences
A Contradicting, Slow Confusion
He throws me Love, too High
I jump to catch it and feel Illusion Burn

When I land he is hiding behind a grey smoke screen
Dreams Living only for Fantasy
He hands some to me, staring through the mist
He walks in a black garden of white flowers
And Dark Grass

Calls to me to show him The Colours.
I cannot see if he wants to see The Colours, really…

When His Blood Rises High
He is careful to touch me.
He senses my movement in The Garden, n
Blows me a cold Kiss.
I feel Ice on my Lips.

Feel the Pain Hiss wanting more of This Angel, now an Old Man, now A Boy…
I am mesmerised and hypnotised, falling down in The Garden
His Smoke Dancing over Me.

He will lay down, The Grass will turn Green.
Still blowing Cold Kisses Colours Coming
To his Closed-Eyes Dream.
When he stands The Colours drain away.
Hot Blood Rushes Through My Veins…

I am terrified to let go Of Him.
Lest I should stand alone in the Mist just as well. Without Him.

His Eyes see Some Thing.
Clear Cut, Sharp Tears tell me so.
He makes His Decision and Turns Away…
Play The Game, Play The Game…

“Walk out of The Garden,” I say.
And His Blood starts dripping. Insane.

I Am A Million Differences.
A Contradicting, Slow Confusion.
You feel the pain through My Tongue.
You Lash Back and feel Illusion Burn.
But then I feel Soft so I curl up.
Like a Baby and I Cry.
“Hold Me in My Confusion.”
Now I give You Love.
I give All My Love To You.
Now You Give Me Yours.
“Walk out of The Garden,” say You.
Look At Me. I Am You.
Is it Me who’s The Bitch. Witch. Slut?
Angel from Heaven?
I Am A Million Differences. A Contradicting, Slow Confusion.
You feel the pain through my cold tongue, you lash back but then
I feel soft so I curl up like a baby and cry.

Tell Me Every Thing Is One Thing And I Will Laugh At You…
I Am and So Are You.

Music by Michael D. Amitin, written in Paris during the 2020 Pandemic,
“Midnight in the Garden of the Senses.”

Mountain Girl

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Mountain Girl

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Blackout on Audio. Week 12: Pregnant Mother.

Pregnant. Mother. Mother. Pregnant. The future stood waiting. The past stamped and pissed all over it… she imagined Bronwen, down in the belly of The Angel… relentlessly destroying a nameless child for all eternity… screaming on and on until… Tessa knew… nothing was going to change anything… only one way to avoid this truth: Drugs.
—- Blackout, 94 second sample:  https://soundcloud.com/tracywilliams/tessas-pregnant-mother-in-blackout-week-12-serialization

Subscribe:  https://tracywilliams.me/serialisation/

Blackout on Audio. Week 11: Blame and her close relation Rage.

“Remember this, I am not your puppy or your slave or your personal whore and I am not one of your machines. I am a real, live, walking, talking, eating, shitting, fucking, snorting woman. And I am more alive than you will ever be…”

— Blame and her close relation Rage in Blackout, Chapter 19. https://tracywilliams.me/serialisation/

50 second sample: https://soundcloud.com/tracywilliams/blame-rage-in-blackout-week-11-serialization


Blackout on Audio: Week 10: Tessa & Men.

Harry would never respect her if she kept talking like a whore, he said.
The advice fell on shameless ears.
There are some men with whom women find it easy to flirt, Tessa told Sam. And there are other men with whom women find it impossible not to flirt. Harry was both of these.

The surveillance footage from Tessa’s bedroom was the most boring, relentlessly eventless film Harry had ever watched. If nothing was going on in there save for staid intellectualism there was little point in spending money or time on that particular camera and tapes. Sam had no power over what she did when alone…
“Don’t you know the most erogenous zone in the female body is the brain,” Harry told his nephew. “Why don’t you go in there with her and … you know …”
Read to her.”

—- Blackout, The Dark Side of the Valleys. Chapter 17. http://www.tracywilliams.me/serialisation

—- to hear a 54sec sample: https://soundcloud.com/tracywilliams/tessa-men-in-blackout-week-10-serialization

‘… the Brecon Beacons …’

‘Gazing into the darkness she knew that out there were the Brecon Beacons, robed in the black starry night, waiting for her to say one word. … the reservoir shimmered and flowed as a few cows lowed from somewhere on an invisible slope of grass. When she turned around and looked back … Tessa was already home.’

—Blackout on Audio. Week 7. Chapters 12 – 13. For subscribers. https://tracywilliams.me/serialisation/

Blackout: Audio

The audio recording of Blackout will be released tomorrow at 9am to acknowledge St David’s Day in Wales. The first reading is free of charge. Interested listeners can subscribe in order to receive all subsequent chapters, one a week, on audio and in text form. This is a great way to read by listening to the author’s voice. Each episode is priced at £1.00 – the entire performance is eleven hours long. Each reading takes about 45 minutes. There will be thirteen weekly performances on every Wednesday from March 1st 2017.

I very much hope the voice will assist in emerging you more deeply in Blackout.